My cup runneth over

I sat in our black rocking chair today and in my lap was my precious Lathen. As I sat their rocking him and singing softly my mind couldn't help but think back four and a half years ago when I first sat in that rocking chair holding my little boy. My heart filled up and spilled over. What a wonderful blessing it is to have the privilege to be a mother. My mind scanned through memories and I couldn't help but be amazed at how much has changed in those short four and a half years. Of course the most obvious at that very moment was the sheer size of my once little baby! I thought of how we added Kieralee to our family and what a blessing she has been.
And then I thought about the one we never got to hold. I can still remember 15 months ago, I was three months pregnant and was going for our first ultra-sound. I will never forget looking at that screen and knowing something was terribly wrong. And the emptiness I felt when the doctor told me that the baby hadn't made it. As my doctor discussed surgery to remove the now void pregnancy his voice faded as hot tears ran down my face and I began to go sort of numb. So much as happened since that day. So much that I am now more grateful for. It is a hard thing to understand where experiences like that fit in a plan that is called the great plan of happiness. But it is a part of it. And although my heart still yearns for the one I never got to hold my mind is at peace knowing that I'm Heavenly Father's girl; He loves me and has more than carried me through. He has taken what felt like it would crush me and turned it into an experience I am glad to say I have had. I have come to know my Father and his love more tenderly because of the one that never got to be. And I can say with no reservations that my cup runneth over.
Thank you, Lathen and Kieralee for making me a mother. And thank you little one who graced us for only an instant. The lessons I've learned and the strength I've gained wouldn't have been possible without you.