Don't be a tattletale

Growing up you might have heard this phrase, "Don't be a tattletale." Usually it was because you or someone else was running to a parent or another adult to inform them of someone else's wrong doings or unfair behavior. Then as an older kid you might have heard that phrase from another kid hoping not to get in trouble. Often it is said as peer pressure to get you to go along with something in order to be cool or part of the group. Usually the kid labeled as the one that tattles, is not consider cool.

Now that I am a parent I still hear it. Kids come running up to tattle and are sent away with the phrase, "Don't be a tattletale!" Kids disheartened and often frustrated leave their parents side and go back to playing. I've seen a few different out comes. Often the kid being tattled on stops what they are doing, at least temporarily for fear of getting in trouble. Or children try to settle it by themselves, sometimes successfully, often not.

I can't help but wonder why. Why do parents tell their kids not to tattletale? Is it because they are busy and don't want to deal with the situation? Are they embarrassed because their kid is the one that will be labeled a tattletale? Do they carry their own childhood peer pressure of not tattling and just do it with out thinking?

I caught myself saying it once. It felt awkward. So I starting thinking about it. Do I agree with the so called teaching of not tattling? Sure it seems innocent when they are 5 and 3. Usually they are tattling on the most ridiculous things and it can become tiresome. But I can't help but think past this small age into the next stage of life that is fast approaching. What I teach my kids now is what they will do when they are older. Wouldn't I want my kid to tattle when things are more serious?

Yes! I want my kids to know that they can always come to me. They can tell me anything. From, "She's looking at me" to "Those kids aren't being nice to that other kid" to the more serious of "Some kids wanted me to drink (or smoke or whatever)." I want my 5 and 3 year old to come to me now and learn to trust me. I want to help them while they are young know how to work through a situation. I'm the adult, I'm the one that's suppose to teach them to share, or be kind or say no. If I shew them away, to deal with it on their own now then I shouldn't be surprised if when they are teenagers they don't come to me for help.

So even if it can get tiresome or annoying at this point in their young lives or if the other parents label my child the tattletale, I say tattle. Come to me with anything and everything and let me show you that it is always okay. Then hopefully you will always come to me.